Thursday, March 27, 2008

final farewell?

I close both locks below the window.
I close both blinds and turn away.
Sometimes solutions aren’t so simple.
Sometimes goodbye’s the only way, oh.

And the sun will set for you
The sun will set for you.
And the shadow of the day,
Will embrace the world in gray,
And the sun will set for you...

Its dark, around here. With no sound. No hushing, no whispering of the wind, no arguments amongst the sleeping birds or those insects, just dead silence.
Its a cemetery. A memorial park, where the memories are buried.

There were many graves around, he realized. Other times, his curiosity would have pulled him to visit each one, and know more, try to visualize the time when these buried memories were alive. But not today.

So the visit was already decided?
He doesn’t know. He doesn’t want to know. He never wanted to come here. Not now.

But, you cannot keep them forever with urself. Move on. You have the whole journey in front of you, you will get tired in the way, its too heavy. Its not worth it? Leave them here, bury them here.

He is wondering if the same voice had spoken to all travelers who dug up here and buried the most precious.

He never wanted to part away, he never wanted to think that this place would ever come up in his journey. He looks up at the sky, he misses the absence of all the stars. They all got lost amidst the way somewhere.

Today is the fifth day after the full moon.
Still He can recognize the face on the sky. Face only half visible. Cannot decide whether it is smiling or frowning.

“As if it matters now?...”
It doesnt. period.


Saturday, March 15, 2008

Do you believe in reincarnation?

reincarnation..> Our body dies but soul remains A new personality is developed during each life in physical world as per wiki..

~~~ a question popped by dolphin few weeks back.

well...yup i do.. but not in the same popular belief...
I do believe in reincarnation.I do believe that we die and are reborn.
But not about literally dying.
I have a notion that, in our one biological life, we die again and again.
and we rise up from our ashes, in the same life, to live ahead.

In life, things happen, some incidences breaks/makes oneself, the force of time and situation kills us at times and forces us to change, at time we commit suicides... and we shed off a part of ourselves and then...
We evolve into a different person, to live again.
Live again, and try to move on from that past incidence of success,failures.

Humans evolve with time, we all change as we grow up for good/bad. but with experience we learn to adpat,compromise,change other,changes ourselves.
Many a times this change is so remarkable and we evolve into a totally different person, unlike the gradual change...

Thats what i mean by reincarnation. The chakra of reincarnation- all compressed in this biological life only.
In search of , whatever one might call it nirvana, bliss, moksha, total peace,... we search for our true image, which would be at ease at every situation.

I m not too sure the reincarnated self rises majestically like phoenix everytime. many a times its weak.. a pale form of earlier self.. badly bruised.
I guess its not an easy path... creates dissonance for many.

Life is such a magical journey..
always look for opportunities to explore myself in innumerable ways, for me thats the mantra as of now..

nomad is walkin...

Saturday, March 01, 2008

addicted to running

Nomad has been walking.
The landscape is quite flat, barren and, yes, monotonous. At the dawn, nomad starts the journey, looking ahead for those unseen pit stops on his route. But now, they are all the same. It’s the same landscape everywhere. Whichever direction he turns its unending, vast, flat topography; till the horizon.
After all those adventures routes, (yes now he really think they were so happening) it was a sudden change of journey for him, a flat terrain!! At first, he loved it. Nomad likes changes. Alas, the change was meant to last for a longer time. And after that, it stretched for some more time. And still more time.

And now for months, the journey has been the same. Not a bit of difference. The mighty-sky too has been covered with dust that refuses to settle down. There has been no sunshine all along. In the night, when nomad looks up at the sky, he could only sense that black blanket.
Still he has to walk, He is nomad.
And then, on one particular day this sudden urge within came from nowhere. He wanted to kick the stone and start the journey for the day.
Ah.. frustration is showing up the tentacles. How could he forgot.
Heaving a sigh, he realizes he has still a long way to go.
Frustration is the poison that killed so many fellow travelers.
He has to be careful. He still has a long way to go….

Run.. Run…
(legs are stiff)
So what?? You just Run ..
(its an awkward rhythm)
Stop being a baby?? Just run..
(I cannt breathe, something is pullin me back..)
Yes .. its all the cobwebs,pain,dirt, u have accumulated since the last time u ran..
Just run.. and breathe them out.. 

I have started running
Yess.. errr...again..
Well, if we just go in the flash back..
(gosh .. flashback neednot be in black and white alwez..!!! my earlier days were colourful!!)

... I used to run as a kid. But that was more, coz ma used to wake me up in morning, and a 15-25 minute run was considered to be a waking-up-from-sleep routine. Those were never the regular runs. and most of the time never worked, i would dozze down again after coming to room.

...We used to walk a lot in our vacations after 10th. But couldn’t run ;) and that was more because of the all sci-fi-gadget-movie-cricket-talks we used to have in morning. We actually never got any time to run, so we used to walk (and that is the most pathetic excuse I have ever made…)

...And then,engineering. It is a great place for running, I started my runs in second year. Nanda-Devi hostel-Central Park-trishul hostel-adhikari canteen, and then sit at the benches in temple park to see the most amazing sunrises.
Waking up in morning and then watching the sunrise is the one of the most inspiring moment I have experienced.
But well.. ahem… there was one more awesome moment .. having maggii at 3 o clock in the morning  . No need to further elaborate; my run-and-sunrise-watchings in engg hostel life was never regular.

...In Ahmedabad, it was all due to shark, that I started running (again), but I was never as regular as he was. Though, only on rainy mornings I used to promptly get up in the morning for a run, and used to walk and run. It is another joy for me, to walk in the rain.

From there on, I guess I never woke up in morning for a run. A lot happened in between, and life got drifted away. Suddenly I realized I was losing the joy I had discovered in those so many small moments, so what is stopping me to go ahead and live my way again.

And then suddenly, I started running.

And yes .. the sunrise still looks amazing.